The Funding Zone Scoreboard


Written by: on Wednesday, December 4th, 2019


Protime was out setting his skunk trap a couple weeks ago when he heard some snorting and then hooves beating on the macadam alley.  Knowing it was too early for Santa and his reindeer, Protime quickly turned and saw two bucks heading his way with reckless abandon.  He just made it into the garage and slammed the door before he was gored or worse.

Waiting till he thought the deer were gone, Protime got down on the floor and peeked under the door to make sure.  He only saw a shadow of what he thought was the bush next to the garage.  Reaching up, Protime slowly turned the knob on the door and inched it open.  When the door was open far enough to stick his head out, Protime was face to face with the skunk.  With cat-like reflexes Protime slammed the door again an instant before Pepe Le Pew unleashed his odiferous spray.

Well, this week 12 teams are going to be sniffing the sweet smell of chocolate in Hershey as they descend on Chocolate Town, USA in search of 6 football championships.  The Precise Predictor correctly surmised 10 of those victors last week, including predicting the exact score and winner of the Wood-Gateway game!  Protime is 299-75 for the year which equivocates to an .800 accuracy rate.  Your Favorite Forecaster will now unveil his finals prognostications and good luck to all.

Central Dauphin 12-2 vs. St. Josephs Prep 11-2 – Two heavyweights are left standing in the 6A game.  Coached by the great mind of Glen McNamee, the Rams have put together an impressive playoff run.  QB Max Mosey, who is only a sophomore, has stepped up and thrown for 1,979 yards and 14 scores.  His main target is usually Nick Chimienti.  He’s snagged 56 passes for 1,073 yards, crossing into the end zone 9 times.  RB Timmy Smith has contributed 1,257 yards and 16 TDs.  RB Marques Holton has 9 rushing scores to his credit.  LB Paul Clark leads an aggressive Ram defense with 126 tackles.  LB Elijah Vargas is also a huge contributor.  Kicker Ahren Stauffer can be a difference maker, if healthy, as he’s booted 6 field goals and only missed one extra point.  CD has scored 464 points and given up 211.  The Hawks have scored 538 points, allowing 218.  They should have stars all over the field, but some have been injured like QB Kyle McCord (2,399 yards and 31 TDs), an Ohio State recruit.  Also, Jeremiah Trotter, Jr. and Anthony Leneghan have not played recently.  Another Ohio State recruit, WR Marvin Harrison Jr (45 catches-987 yards-14 TDs) more or less won the game with Pittsburgh Central Catholic last week with his acrobatic catch of a fourth down desperation pass in the back of the end zone to send the game into overtime.  Malik Cooper has filled in nicely at the quarterback position and will run occasionally.  RB Kolbe Burrell (1,137 yards-14 TDs) is also an offensive bright spot.  The offensive line includes two more D-1 recruits in Matthew Lombardi and Matthew McGeary.  Coach Tim Roken will have his work cut out for him to prepare the Hawks for the dynamic CD Rams.  Protime wants to overrule the crystal ball, but he decided to acquiesce.  That means the Hawks will be flying high after their 28-24 triumph.

Cheltenham 14-1 vs. Archbishop Wood 10-3 – This is the Panthers first appearance in the finals, while Wood’s Vikings are making their 8th show in 12 years, winning five times.  The Panthers are led offensively by QB Adonis Hunter who has passed for 2,129 yards and 26 TDs, plus he has scrambled for another 14 tallies on the ground.  T.J. Harris seems to be one of the top targets with 39 grabs for 714 yards and 10 TDs.  WR Nate Edwards has 9 TD catches.  RB Jamir Barnes is a thousand-yard runner with 1,236 and 13 TDs.  Defensively, Cheltenham has the linebacker duo of Jon-Marc Foreman and Zachary Gaffin leading in tackles with 136 each.  DB Sam Sykes chips in with 112 takedowns and Harris has picked off 9 opposition passes.  Coach Ryan Nase’s team has produced 564 points and permitted 282.  Kyle Adkins is the coach of the Archbishop Wood Vikings, who’ve outscored their opponents 446-240.  QB Max Keller has 1,237 yards and 17 TDs.  His top receivers are Andrew McHugh (leads team with 5 TD catches) and Ryan Woertz.  Running backs Cardel Pigford and Kaelin Costello both have 792 yards rushing and 9 touchdowns.  DE Robert Jackson, LB Shane Collier, and S Ryan Divergilis lead a good Viking defense.  Divergilis has scored 7 total offensive touchdowns in addition to anchoring the ‘D’.  The coin flip has Wood winning 34-24.

Dallas 15-0 vs. Thomas Jefferson 15-0 – The 4A contest is one of two games featuring unbeaten teams.  The Mountaineers, under the guidance of Rich Mannello, have scored 659 points, while permitting 181.  Dallas is led by QB Michael Starbuck who had flung the agate for 2,001 yards and 25 scores.  He has scrambled around for 8 more scores.  Lenny Kelley is the top running back, scurrying for 2,698 yards and 41 goal line crossings.  Danny Meuser has 868 yards and 10 TDs via the ground game.  Top wide outs are Matt Maransky (who’s been hurt) with 9 TD catches and Luke DelGaudio with 41 snags for 631 yards and 8 scores.  Meuser and Kelley lead the ‘Eers in tackles, while DL Taylor Bolesta has 10 sacks and 21 tackles for losses.  The Jaguars have scored 693 points and given up only 55.  Bill Cherpak is the long-time TJ coach looking for the school’s 4th state title.  The Jags are led by QB Shane Stump and his 2,377 yards passing with 32 touchdowns.  He has amazingly thrown only one interception all year.  Daniel Deabner is the main target.  He has caught 47 balls for 1,053 yards and scored 19 TDs.  WR Ian Hansen has 32 grabs for 689 yards and 8 scores.  RB Dylan Mallozzi has galloped for 1,706 yards and 25 TDs.  DL Logan Danielson leads the Jag defensive effort along with Deabner who has 7 picks.  The crystal ball says this game is going to be mighty close and TJ wins by a score of 31-27.

Wyoming 13-1 vs. Central Valley 13-1 – The field will be full of Warriors battling to win their school’s first state title.  The Wyoming Area Warriors have a big line to show the way for QB Dom Deluca and RB Darren Rodney.  Coach Randy Spencer’s O-Line loves pancakes and to prove it, they have 144 total pancake blocks so far this season.  Deluca not only has 1,479 yards throwing with 19 TDs, but he has chalked up 958 yards rushing, scoring 12 times.  Rodney has 1,007 yards and 17 touchdowns running with the rock.  WR Brian Williams has 757 receiving yards and scored 11 TDs.  Defensive lineman Sam Solomon and linebacker F.J. Braccini have 29 tackles for loss between them.  Wyoming has outscored the enemy 531-158.  C.V. has outdistanced their foes 542-147.  QB Ameer Dudley has garnered 1,844 yards and 23 TDs passing, while running for 9 more TDs.  RB Jaylen Guy has travelled 1,242 yards and scored 11 touchdowns.  WR Jawon Hall has 761 yards in receptions, scoring 11 times.  Four young men have over 100 tackles for the C.V. Warriors.  They are LB Reed Fitzsimmons (148), DE Sean Fitzsimmons (122), LB Matt Merritt (107), and DE Justin Thompson (105).  Those four have also combined for 62 tackles for losses.  The Central Valley squad, coached by Mark Lyons, has only lost to Thomas Jefferson.  Wyoming’s only defeat came at the hands of Southern Columbia.  Protime is projecting Central Valley to win its first title 28-21.

Southern Columbia 15-0 vs. Avonworth 15-0 – Game two featuring undefeated teams as the Antelopes make their first ever Hershey appearance.  The Tigers are vying for their 10th championship and are coached by the legendary Jim Roth who will tie Jack Henzes as the second winningest coach in PA history with the win.  He currently stands at 443-63-2.  He has a once in a lifetime team with at least 5 D-1 recruits.  They are QB Preston Zachman (Wisconsin) who has pitched the pigskin for 1,751 yards and 26 TDs; RB Gaige Garcia (Michigan) who has traversed for 1,899 yards and scored 31 touchdowns; WR Julian Fleming (Ohio State) who has snabbed 69 passes for 1,423 yards and 21 TDs; LB Cal Haladay (Michigan State); and LB Max Tillett (New Hampshire).  Gavin Garcia may be D-1 too but he is only a sophomore who has raced for 1,604 yards and 27 TDs.  Jacob Davis has 6 interceptions for the Tiger ‘D’.  The Garcias average 16.7 yards per carry!  Kicker Ethan Haupt set the state record for extra points connecting on 110 of 114.  SCA has scored 820 points and need 41 to break the state record for points scored in a season.  They’ve only allowed 75 and the vast majority was scored on second and third teamers.  The Antelopes have a couple prolific players of their own in Park Penrod (1,997 yards passing with 30 TDs) and Jax Miller (2,331 yards with 29 TDs).  Theo Newhouse (9 TDs) and Trevor Faulkner (7 TDs) are the top receivers.  Safety Jacob Horigan leads the team in tackles.  Andrew Tedesco leads the team in interceptions with 6.  As a team, the Antelopes have 38 sacks and 85 tackles for losses.  Derek ‘Duke’ Johncour has done a superb coaching job to get the ‘Lopes this far.  Avonworth has outscored their foes 545-165.  But it’s hard to go against the top small high school team in the nation.  Southern 42 Avonworth 21.

Bishop Guilfoyle 12-2 vs. Farrell 13-2 – The single A game pits two teams with contrasting styles.  BG plays the power game and Keegan Myrick is the workhorse.  He has 1,695 yards rushing and over 2,200 all-purpose markers.  Myrick has 23 touchdowns to lead the team.  Offensive lineman, Brady Bithell has accumulated 24 pancake blocks to his credit.  QB Konnor Kiesenwetter does have 790 yards passing, but he runs too and has scored 8 rushing TDs.  Coach Justin Wheeler’s defense is led by LB Zach McCloskey and his 131 tackles, DE Andrew Yanoshak with 124 takedowns (27 for losses and 19 sacks), and Cameron Maloney with 119 tackles and 30 of those were for losses.  Myrick has 6 interceptions.  The Marauders have outscored their opponents 326 to 176.  The Farrell Steelers have scored 540 points and have only allowed 98.  First year coach Anthony Pegues has the Steelers operating on all cylinders after starting the year 0-2.  QB Raymond Raver can run and throw.  He’s accounted for 1,449 yards and 13 TD passes and 8 TDs rushing.  RBs Anthony Stallworth (1,652 yards-16 TDs) and Jaden Harrison (1,001 yards-13 TDs) are known as ‘Thunder and Lightning’.  WR Bryce Butler leads the receivers with 6 TD catches but did not play last week.  Brian Hilton Jr. appears to be the next go to receiver.  The defensive unit is led by LBs Taidon Strickland and Tyrie Hammonds. Butler has 7 picks for Farrell.  Protime is leaning Farrell’s way in this contest.  The Steelers win back to back titles with a 34-17 victory.

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